


Regretting

by Mika__mi



Category: Da Vinci's Demons
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-30
Updated: 2013-09-30
Packaged: 2017-12-28 02:25:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/986575
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mika__mi/pseuds/Mika__mi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leonardo dreams. He dreams every night and each vision shows him new paths and possible endings to his life. Each night he re-dreams events and, more importantly, he re-meets people he had already encountered.</p>
<p>What Leonardo himself finds surprising, is that in every single world his mind produces, there is a place for that one particular man. He is there all the time, even if Leonardo cannot see him at the very moment. It seems even, that his confrontations with Riario define the turns in his life. Like the man was the source of the changes.</p>
<p>And sometimes, just sometimes, Da Vinci wishes he could stay in the dreamstate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was written as a part of Da Vinci's Demons Big Bang.  
> Hope you enjoy it~
> 
> Also, check out great art for the fic  
> by ibuzoo: http://ibuzoo.livejournal.com/781.html  
> and by reisar: http://sta.sh/01appyuttw16

Leonardo dreams. He always had but his recent dreams are different. Much different from the visions that he used to have after smoking what happened to be at the moment in the pipe. This time no bloodshed, no memories of his mother and no demons. Those he has now are rather ‘re-dreams’ as Da Vinci tends to call them.

Each night brings new dream - or nightmare rather - where he re-lives events, re-meets people, re-has conversations.

They haunt him. Showing possibilities that would await him if he had enough courage to take action. All of them haunt him for cowardice. Because even if he may seem a brave man, this applies only to his inventions and as a human being he always had been a coward. He was taught that. He was taught that very painfully by his father. He learned to believe and then became a coward. But he also learned - this time for himself, without any discussable help given - how to hide it. How not to appear to be one. But those are just lies and lies and lies. This cowardice haunts him.

In those ‘re-dreams’ he has the whole palette of ‘what-ifs’ of life. And possibilities are so tempting that he regrets not choosing the path. Any of the paths to be precise. Most of them does not end well but the thrill, the emotions - they would be so much worth it. And the only thing he can do now is to weep that there was not enough strength in him to choose the desired path and keep to the track. He sometimes even wakes up screaming, tears still on his cheeks. He almost never cries. In his life it happened so rarely he had forgotten how is it like to do so. At the time Leonardo wakes up he is truly scared. That also happens rarely.

And most of his dreams contain Riario - like his life choices depended on the relation with this particular man. He wonders why, because it simply doesn’t make sense. Yet, each meeting with him is re-dreamed and Leonardo thoroughly experiences each of the endings of various roads. There are not many people who Leonardo dreamed about in the past - there had always been his mother. More recently the Turk. And now there is only Riario. Of course more people appear but the focus is always on the person of that man - he is always there, at the back of his head if not anywhere in sight. Always.

From time to time, when Da Vinci wakes up reality and the dream are stirred together and he is not sure where, what and who. Not to mention that dreams are too realistic for him to not be mistaken for reality. Sometimes he just wishes he could stay in the dream forever because it seems so right to be there, to enjoy the right company, to feel (sometimes guilty) pleasure of being for once in the right place in the world. Things are perfect there. Right.

Only sometimes it is more of a nightmare where death is as common as air and corpses lay in heaps ready to be buried or burned. He would gladly be woken up.

Only once Nico decided to watch over him in sleep, Leonardo didn’t protest.

“Maestro, you were screaming.” - was the only thing he heard in the morning as Nico hurried to leave the place as quickly as possible.

 

The fantasy makes him lose his mind but he is not sure he want to come back to reality.


	2. Chapter 2

There is a tremble in his voice when he asks for a key. “Unsure. Insecure. Interested.” - thought comes.

So in return Leonardo gives him self-confidence. Certainty. And absolute lack of interest.

It's all only an act, though. At the moment, the interest is a feeling so great that hiding it seems almost inconceivable. Yet, Leonardo tries with a bit of boasting and cockiness.

Teeny shiver flashes down his spine at words "Then I'll have you as well". He wouldn't mind it - being owned by such a man. It also compliments Leonardo’s intellect. “Well played” - flashes through his mind.

There are threats but the object of them is not a reason to betray Florence. Just a lover, one of many in Da Vinci’s life. Nothing serious even if he is intrigued by her - Lucretia got his curiosity but Riario... Let’s say the man won his attention.

So when he winks playfully and turns everything crushes. And before Leonardo’s mind starts to process the events his hands are moving, grabbing Riario’s wrist, pulling him violently closer - hand on man’s throat, mouth to his ear. And there he is, whispering slowly, breathing warm air over delicate earlobe - “I know desire when I see it”.

They are hidden behind the pillar. The angle, the height - no one could have seen what happened. Not Lorenzo. Not Giuliano. No one. Perfect place for such a small crime.

And he never regrets this. Not even when later he needs Nico’s help to bandage the deep cut on his stomach left there by Riario’s dagger.

He remembers how the man frees himself from the grip, how quickly hides the dagger, how he walks away without a word but with a heartbeat so fast that it is clearly audible. He recalls the shape of a body near him, almost misses the feeling of a tiny spasm of shock. With a movement of his palms he again traces the lines of Riario’s throat, feels slightly faster pulsing of blood beneath his fingers. The smell of dark hair stays with him for far too long for his liking - “Cinnamon” - he suddenly realizes. There is again the sound of ruffling expensive fabric. Short jolt of pain. Warmth of the human body and his own blood.

That night - or what is left of it when he comes back - he manages to somehow bandage the cut. Nico and Vanessa help but they ask too many questions. Too many and he just doesn’t want to answer them. He is not in the mood. Eventually, they stop asking and leave him after making sure the bandages are in the right place and Leonardo won’t bleed to death in his sleep.

Their worries are unnecessary, though. He won't sleep tonight.

He will lay motionlessly with few exceptions for shivers flashing down his spine.

 

The weapon is ready, the trap is ready but Leonardo isn't as ready as he would wish he was. Slight uncertainty at the back of his head tells him that "ready" alongside with "sure" are the last words a person can use to describe him.

He prepares the device, hides it thoroughly. It had been tested even before the banquet. Not that he will let anyone know it. Being a genius who constructs such machinery overnight is much more gratifying than being a calm engineer always meeting schedule and requirements.

He prefers to make a big show out of his projects.

Yet, this time he would gladly just stay in his workshop, drawing and studying the anatomy of a bat. Or any other animal for that matter.

“No show tonight. Sorry, we’re closed. Our only actor is sick of your shit.”

 

Still, he forces himself to put on some clothes. Wash his face. Ask slightly offended Nico and even more offended Vanessa to help him with bandages which have to be changed even though the cut seems to be healing. They help but this time it’s them who are reluctant to speak. At last he leaves his place. Alone, horseriding for the meetingplace.

The weapon? Ready, left in a safe place near his intended destination. Couldn’t sleep early in the morning so he transported the machinery while the sky was darkish. Avoiding guards was way easier before the dawn.

 

When he finally stands on a ledge, waiting for Riario to arrive, he tells himself that he is ready, but knows it is all just a lie. Not even a well disguised one.

He never felt so unprepared. He never felt unprepared in his life. And it is quite a depressing thing - uncertainty.

Leonardo knows that something will happen but can’t really grasp what it is yet. And is not so sure he wants to know - just this once he would gladly choose being blindfolded than enlightened, if such a metaphor would apply.

When sun rises they appear. Several men on their horses with one distinct figure in the middle that happens to be Count Riario. Dressed in black. “As always” - Leonardo supposes. On black horse - “Of course” - with all his men also in black.

Everything about this man is so dark, yet, he seems to believe that he is on the side of light in this battle and Leonardo is the one with shady intentions.

They talk for a while. There is no point in this discussion and they both know it. Riario seems to believe, just for a faint moment, that Leonardo will actually follow him to Rome. But he won’t and after few seconds Riario knows it all too well.

There are lies, the trap is set. Leonardo is not going to give him any hope.

Da Vinci’s hands are trembling, the look he gets is much more passionate than he could have ever wished for. Riario stares into Leonardo’s eyes and it's like someone poured a cup of ice-cold water on him but it is burning his skin nethertheless.

 

For Da Vinci the most vital is that the attraction is not one sided. Or should that be “fascination”?

 

But they cannot agree, their opinions are so different, ideas are so contradictory that it actually hurts. Especially when Leonardo remembers their previous meeting.

He hopes that the gunfire won’t kill the Count - living enemies make much better lovers than the dead ones.

 

And then he has to fire. Pledge his “allegiance. to. Lorenzo. the. Magnificent. his. foolish. brother. and. the. whole. of. Florence.”, reveal the trap and hope that Riario prays to his god, because surely Leonardo won’t do that for him.

“...eight, nine, ten” - Da Vinci counts and turns the machine for the next ten salvos. And he really hopes that Riario was praying.

“...eight, nine, ten” - turns again and after ten shots there is dead silence.

He barely hears a thing. Smells only the gunpowder.

Few seconds later he is able to get up and looks around. Few dead bodies lay on the ground. Or maybe half-dead. He can’t really tell - bloody parts and bits of bones are scattered around and looking is not the most pleasant thing to do right now. Not that it shocks him. He have seen much worse than this.

 

Then he sees.

A bit to the right there lays Riario, bleeding.

 

Still breathes, though. But not for much longer in this state.

 

When Leonardo comes closer he gets the look. There is some sort of silent agreement in that look, a kind of consent. So he takes Riario’s dagger in his hand - “I’m sorry.” - and slashes man’s throat. All carotid arteries opened. He dies in seconds.

“You weren’t praying hard enough” and he gets up.

 

He can’t really sleep that night as well.


	3. Chapter 3

‘So we are at impasse then. That would be unfortunate,’ Riario states clearly with the sadness in his eyes, that tell Leonardo it is almost the end of negotiations.

‘Not an impasse, really.What is your offer, again?’ Riario takes a breath to speak and points at the case, ‘Besides that little box filled with gold, of course. Why would I want this thing if I already have the Vault of Heaven behind me?’

He turns and walks towards the bottle, "Not yet," thinks. With the corner of the eye he can see Riario looking. Observing him cautiously with raised brows, ready to take action the second Leonardo becomes a danger. Da Vinci takes the bottle in his hands. As for now, no action needed.

‘I have an army. Behind me,’ Riario replies.

'Are you talking about those pathetic men who seem to be better trained at looking good in black cloaks than in fighting with swords?' he looks at the bottle. Just to enrage Riario's men he ignores them entirely and concentrates on the glass surface. Also, he is well aware that Riario himself won’t respond to a manipulation so small - the man is much too intelligent not to see that this is all an act.

‘I promise I'll kill him-!’ is heard from the back and Da Vinci smiles in his head. “Win.”

‘Easy,’ Riario waves his palm in the air and turns towards Leonardo. Just slightly annoyed, but he covers it so expertly that even he has a problem seeing it clearly. ‘I wouldn't advise insulting my men, Artista. They are in fighting mood today.’

And there is the concerned look of Riario’s. The one with which he shows how sinful and disgusting you are and he pities your soul that will end up in hell.

‘Your men, you say?’ Da Vinci smirks. ‘I wouldn't have guessed that the Soldier of God like you would-’ he starts but the rest of the sentence is lost in Riario’s answer.

‘If I were you I would stop with that foolish joke. Let's get back to our conversation, shall we?’ Da Vinci nods a bit more serious. They stare at each other and Riario starts without breaking the eye contact, ‘What do we have to give you in order to get your talents at our service?’

There is tension between them and it thickens with every moment. Leonardo feels how it surrounds them as Riario is waiting for some demands, orders or whatever it is that Da Vinci wishes. So Leonardo comes a step closer, blinks a few times.

‘I was thinking about you, personally, killing the Pope. How does it sound?’ he murmurs just loud enough for Riario to hear him and turns to look at the bottle with a small laugh. And he is so happy to see that his opponent (and such a perfect opponent that is) is irritated, even if only slightly. And he is so disappointed that he can’t see this expression in it’s fullest but only from a distance, pretending to look away.

‘You know, Artista, that we can simply take you by force,’ he starts slowly like he is checking how stable the ground is. Then Leonardo’s eyes flicker in Riario’s direction for a faint moment and, to Da Vinci’s own surprise, they stay there focusing on the man’s hands. ‘And we have many, many ways of convincing you to work for us,’ Riario grabs the handle of his sword and slowly takes it out of the scabbard while Leonardo's eyes focus on those hands. “Marvelous.” Riario smiles and catches his gaze. "Caught".

‘Really? What would they be?’ Da Vinci smiles challengingly. ‘Tell me, I'm intrigued.’

‘I would prefer not to scare you if we still may agree on the terms that would suit both sides. So, you tell me. What do you truly want?’ and he gives Leonardo this perfect, intensive look, and this half-warm grin, and his fingers which had already hidden the sword back are now tapping a steady rhythm on the hilt.  It seems so welcoming - all those gestures. Da Vinci hesitates. Betraying Florence for such petty reason as interest… But this man standing right before him is a riddle so mysterious it would be a great challenge to solve it. And Leonardo Da Vinci loves riddles. He doesn’t like to give up on challenges either. No matter how much he tries, he is unable to dismiss the signs and even though his brain warns him so desperately to stop now, to give up on the idea, he still follows what he feels is right, because he is just this kind of man. The bottle falls from his hands and breaks on the ground being shattered into millions and millions of pieces. And he starts, with racing heart, ‘I want... absolute freedom while... In Rome,’ takes deep breath, calms himself. ‘I want Nico, Vanessa and Zoroaster to be protected from Medicis. Or better... Moved to Rome if that's what they want.’

He pauses for few seconds to rethink the demands. It's not easy. Not easy at all to choose if he can get almost everything he wants.

‘And what about Lucrezia Donnati?’ Riario suggests with a small, mischievous smile in the corner of his lips.

“What about her?” flashes through his mind. He wasn’t thinking about her. She… Was she even important in all that?

‘I… I do not have any claims concerning her- Or maybe one. Let her live if you will attack Florence. I want her to stay alive.’

‘There should be no problem with that, Artista,’ Riario gives a silent laugh. ‘Is that everything…?’

‘No.’

“Lorenzo must be getting impatient,” Leonardo thinks and starts reciting on one breath, ‘I want a safe place in Rome where I can work in peace, as well as your personal assistance in any troubles I might encounter. I want all my belongings to be somehow transported to Rome in untouched condition. Also-! I want to have the possibility to…’ - “draw your portrait.” - ‘meet whoever I want and whenever I want. Are we set?’

Riario looks curiously at Da Vinci. There is slight amusement in this look as well.

‘I agree,’ he says cautiously and Leonardo knows that despite that wariness Riario knows exactly what he agrees to.

‘Now, if you excuse me,’. ‘Please, don’t turn. Don’t stare,’ Leonardo takes a small step forward. He can see tense figures of the soldiers and even Riario himself doesn't seem relaxed. ‘Lorenzo de Medici and the head of Florence’s guards are waiting at the top of the hill to the right from you. So… If you want to keep me alive then there is one way to do that,’ he explains very quickly. One look at their faces and knows that it’s a very dangerous game he's playing. And in the present moment he should be ready to die because his opponents look murderous.

‘Is that a joke, Artista?’ Riario stabs Da Vinci with his piercing look. Extremely suspicious and not content at all.

‘No, absolutely not,’ Leonardo gives a small laugh ‘That thing behind me? That’s not the Vault of Heaven, obviously. I wouldn’t have been such a fool as to bring it here. If I would have found it, of course, which I did not.’

‘So, you-?’ one of the soldiers starts but is quickly cut of by Da Vinci’s hasty talk.

‘Yes, I lied, but-! The thing behind me is actually a weapon. Which would probably kill you if I used it. But I won’t, if that’s what you want to ask me.’

Riario keeps his hand on the sword and all Leonardo can look at are those fingers.

‘Can you get straight to the point?’ Riario doesn’t seems pleased at all but it would come as a surprise if he was. ‘Otherwise I am going to make your stay at Rome very painful.’

They look at each other. Riario’s eyes are slightly wider while Da Vinci’s are somewhat squinted. They observe each other, rather than simply see. Like they were predators preparing for a fight and circling each other.

‘I am going to uncover it. Pretend to have problems with firing. Your men will quickly capture me. Then we can get back to Rome. The plan is simple.’

Explanation is really simple indeed, but convincing Riario that this is not a trap when, for once, it really is not, is a true challenge.

‘How can we be sure that you won’t actually fire?’ There is a glint of trust, yet, it gets lost in all the suspicions.

‘I won’t. Or do you not believe in the abilities of your men?’ he gins. ‘Oh, and Signore, make it believable, please.’

‘Don’t worry, we will,’ shouts a man from the back.

So Leonardo takes a deep breath, probably the deepest breath in his life, and speaks, ‘I pledge my allegiance to Lorenzo the Magnificent, his foolish brother and the whole of Florence!’ and runs, and runs unspeakably fast, to the weapon. He can see them getting closer within seconds. Uncovers the veil with one movement and… that’s when they get him.

He can feel blows to the face, few to the abdomen, his arms are being twisted behind his back. He coughs blood and after one powerful kick to the stomach he actually blacks out.

“They made it really believable” - the last thought comes before everything turns black.

 

He wakes up some time later, but not sure when exactly - Hours? Days? Opening the eyes slowly, he starts recognizing the shapes of the room he’s in. Sun pours into the chamber from two surprisingly wide windows and lays on his bed. And it’s a bed with clean, cream-coloured sheets that are so delicate he can feel the softness of the fabric and knows they must have been expensive. The smell lingering on the whole bed is faint, but still present and distinctive. “A bit like cinnamon.” Then he realizes his clothes had been changed and velvety linen touches his skin. “Everything is so white in here," he notices instantly.

His first attempt to get up stays what it is - an attempt. The bruises on his stomach are hardly a help in the task. But the second attempt changes into the real action with just a bit of struggle somewhere in the process. Now he can explore. Because, in fact, this room seems different than anything he had ever been to - too big, too luxurious, too everything - and there is a lot to be explored. Three seconds and he notices the balcony on his right, in the corner of the room. Heavy wooden doors on the opposite wall. But what really interests him are the windows, or rather the view from them. There are tiny people on the streets, their daily lives, their simple, undisturbed lives without the political war and intrigues behind every corner. Whole city is under his feet and he feels powerful just by enjoying this view. The building is so high, and he is nearly sure that he is in the centre of the Rome, meaning that this is the tallest building in the entire city which is-

‘I see you woke up, Artista,’ he hears dark-toned voice just behind his back. There is a shiver running down his spine. “That’s a surprise.”

‘Good morning, Count,’ he turns and finds Riario smiling slightly at him.

‘We don’t need such formality if we are to work together as allies,’ he stresses the last word and smiles once more. ‘Please, you can call me Girolamo. Or Riario if that’s what you prefer.’

Leonardo has to admit that he is surprised. So very surprised that staring for a second or two and blinking in disbelief for another two seems justified, or at least acceptable. But he gets himself together to reply at least a bit coherently, ‘I-If that is what you wish. You can call me Leaonardo. But “Da Vinci” will do just right, as well. I don’t mind either of them. Or “Artista”. I’ve got used to hear it from your lips. It suits surprisingly well when you say it.’

‘I’ll consider this offer then,’ and again, Riario smiles softly and Leonardo can’t really believe his own eyes. This tone, those phrases - it’s all so flirtatious. ‘I’m sorry for my men back then. They were…’ he tries to find the right word. ‘Violent.’

At that moment Da Vinci is so lost that he actually laughs. This image of the Count Girolamo Riario he is presented with is so unbelievable and unrealistic that this meeting might as well be just one of his visions. And then Leonardo touches his lower lip and feels the bruise left by Riario’s men reminding him, that this is probably one of the most real thing in his life.

‘That’s… not a problem, really,’ he says slowly, smile being his response, ‘I am surprised that we are actually alive.’

‘Yes, we are, indeed,’ Riario stops for a second and his face darkens for a moment. ‘I know we should talk about business... but on the second thought I should give you some time to rest. We will talk tomorrow, so prepare yourself, Artista,' he says calmly and turns towards the door.

'I've told you it sounds good,' Da Vinci replies when Riario is about to leave the room.

'Maybe,' the man answers after a short silence. 'I am perfectly fine with whatever suits you. I'll come back later in the evening to check upon you.'

And he closes the doors leaving Leonardo all alone in the room.

What pops in his mind the moment echo of Riario’s footsteps fade in the corridor is whether that behaviour was just an act or the true character devoid of tension and cruelty of the cold war between Rome and Florence. Da Vinci suspects the first answer is correct even if he would prefer the second one much better. But it is too dreamy.

Alone again, he looks around the room. Gold and white. A desk, a chair. Some parchment, a charcoal, notebooks. A bed. For two people. “Well, that’s a surprise.” Small table. A cupboard. A wardrobe… Nothing special but the very look of those things tells Leonardo that this is no ordinary room and he is no ordinary guest. They seem to treat him with great honours and care. Still, he is not sure where exactly he is, how this place looks, what are the mechanics. “I can ask when he’ll come back. Because he will come back” - the thought amazes Da Vinci. The fact that Riario, the man who seemed so far away, so distant and unapproachable, will be at his service (or at least will be showing up from time to time) is so abstract. Everything about the situation seems so abstract…

He takes few steps towards the window and looks down again. Takes the deep breath and thinks. It is not as easy - his mind doesn’t seem to process informations like it always did. It’s a bit slower, a bit more lazy but Leonardo supposes that he is just tired - beneath him there are people, streets. Guessing from the plan of the city he must be in the main building of the city. Somewhere there must be the way to Vatican’s Secret Archives. There must be Pope’s chambers. And Riario’s. He will be living in the most secure place in the whole Rome… Eventually he sits at the desk, looks at the charcoal, at the parchment - all of it seems so perfected. This very room seem like it had been prepared and waiting for him. Like somebody knew - “Riario” - that at last he will give up to the temptation and Rome will be ready to gladly welcome him.

And he sits there, knowing that something he decided upon in few seconds when he looked at the mystery he wanted to solve so much he even betrayed his own ideals, that this was known by Riario from the moment they’ve heard about each other without even meeting once. He was looked through from the distance dividing the Rome and Florence.

And Leonardo does nothing about it. Because maybe Riario just desired to have him working for Rome so much that the room had been cautiously prepared before their first encounter. It is possible. And he wants to believe in the second possibility.

Nevertheless, it only adds a bit of thrill to their acquaintance.

There is a lot of time to be passed before Riario will come, so Leonardo sits, takes some charcoal and draws remembering the projects already finished. Recreates the lines, the shades. Measurements and numbers. Perfects the edges, calculates again, checks every element.

‘Leonardo,’ he hears just behind his back and realizes it started to darken outside. ‘I’ve promised I will come back to check if you feel well,’ he adds and Leonardo turns to see his face.

‘Yes, I remember.’

‘So, how do you feel?’ All the time Riario speaks with this genuine smile. He looks like the very presence of Da Vinci was making him happy.

‘I started working. You said to prepare for tomorrow and I did.’

‘I also said that you should rest.’

This time Leonardo smiles and answers, ‘I did.’

‘Then I can leave you alone. I wish you good night.,’ and he turns to exit the room.

‘Wait,’ Da Vinci stops him when Riario walks towards the door. ‘I wanted to ask you a few things.’

‘What would those be, Artista?’ this time the man is curious. Curious about the turn of events.

‘Can you show me around this place?-’ Leonardo starts but is interrupted by Riario.

‘Of course. And, yes, I will answer the rest of your questions during our little tour… Come with me.’

They walk through the door and just outside the room there is a guard. Riario rises a hand and the soldier visibly relaxes.

‘Do not worry, he’s there in case you need anything,’ says Riario calmingly.

“Liar.”

‘Can you please not insult my intellect, Count?’

Riario stops walking and turns to look Leonardo in the eyes. And the look on his face changes - he is no longer a calm and honest host, but a convict caught red handed pretending to be surprised by the accusation.

‘What do you mean, Leonardo?’

‘We can proceed with our “little tour”,’ says Da Vinci resting his palm on Riario’s shoulder as they walk further. The Count turns his head surprised as if he was confused whether to be amazed by the suspiciousness or to be curious about the hand on his shoulder. ‘I am perfectly aware that you are afraid that this is all an act and I am just playing you by walking in here as your guest while I can still be an enemy. So let me assure you - I gave my conditions, you agreed. I am here because of my own decisions and I won’t let anyone cage me. Not even you,’ he spills the words in fast, yet, angry manner, as if he was whispering threats meant only for one, particular person to hear them. ‘Besides… One guard is not enough, you know.’ Leonardo smiles and lets go of Riario’s shoulder.

Riario clears his throat, ‘What do you want me to show you, then?’ he asks undisturbed.

‘Just… around,’ he mutters looking at the details of the corridor. They walk. 'What about Nico? And Vanessa.' Then he adds quickly, 'And Zo.'

'We took care of that matter,' Riario says in low voice. There are seconds of silence and suddenly Leonardo asks

'How? You know, sometimes "how" is more important than the deed itself.'

'We sent people to inform them... And other people to get the whole of your workshop here.'

'Good. Inform me if you will hear from them, please.'

'Whatever you wish,' he again smiles with that calm, soft smile.

"Lies"

They take few more steps and Riario stops.

'Here is where I usually stay when I am not in the process of destroying Florence.'

'You mean that in this room you spend most of your time?' Da Vinci raises one brow and wonders how that bad joke could have crossed his companion's mind. He thinks it may be just the poor sense of humour. And that explanation is just enough. "Not everybody is perfect"

We are not far from each other so feel free to knock if you need something.'

'You said that I can ask the guard if there is a need for that.'

'I think we just discussed the duties of this guard. Or guards. There will be two. As I can remember you saying that one men is not enough for you,' and he winks in that flirtatious, yet threatening manner that drives Leonardo almost insane. Generally because this is the most inappropriate thing to do or the way he does it is simply indecent. He wouldn't mind that wink if both of them were out of their shirts or dangerously close to the bed, though. But there is time and place...

'Oh. One man is perfectly enough. It just depends on a man...’ Leonardo lowers his voice and it sounds deeper, echoing through the corridor. Riario turns his head in response.

‘Nevermind. Let’s go further.’ And after few more meters they turn left and there are doors. Dark, wooden. ‘This is your study.’

‘Thought that-’ he gestures in the direction of his room trying to understand what does it all mean but he is quickly interrupted by Riario.

‘I considered one table in the room not enough for you to work,’ he speaks while opening the doors with small, golden key. ‘So I ordered to prepare you a study.’ And he walks in, taking a small candlestick from a nearby table. Leonardo follows and is amazed by how enormous the place seems to be. There are several windows allowing for much light to work. Leonardo tries to process in his head the road they took to get there and guesses that it is the southern part of the building. “The greatest amount of light entering during the day” - flashes through his head.

‘Can I really work here? I mean there is so much space and-’

‘Why otherwise would I tell you this is your study?’ Riario again speaks in that gentle manner as he was at the beginning.

‘Guess I have to thank you for this present...’

‘We want you to make the best design of your life working for Rome. And I personally made sure that you’ll have everything you want,’ Riario assured him looking surprisingly serious into Leonardo’s eyes. ‘But let me tell you that if you’ll ever want to trick us… It won’t be hard to hurt you, Artista. And you won’t stop me from doing so. You know there will be no mercy-’ he wasn’t able to finish the sentence cut by Leonardo’s reply.

‘Let me make your portrait.’ This plea seemed unexpected even for Da Vinci and none of them knew what to think of it. This sentence just poured out of his mouth without the consent of its owner. Just one quick thought about how intensive this look was and how it was perfect enough for Leonardo to desire to make it stay that way forever turned into actual words that were loud and clear. ‘I mean-’

'Fine. If that's what you want.'

Leonardo is completely dumbfounded by the answer. He would never expect that. He would never expect simple agreement. It was never an option. But here it was.

'You know this will require you to open up to me. If I am to portrait you I have to know more than just what I see an what I imagine.'

'I told you it's fine. When do you want to start?'

First thing that came into his mind was, 'Now.'

'Leonardo, you know how unreasonable your demand is?'

‘Yes-!’ he whispers with that sense of excitement making it sound more like an exasperated sight than just a whisper.

Riario stares for a faint moment before breaking into laughter and Leonardo notices that he had never seen him laugh. He have never seen that kind of happiness that paints on his face when he asks, ‘Where should I sit then?’

He just stands and smiles as Da Vinci prepares his workshop, runs in various directions grabbing pieces of charcoal and sheets of parchment that lay on the tables around the room. Riario just lights few candles in the room and soft flicker of fire light the ceiling and the floor.

And when Riario finally sits opposite Leonardo they start talking and as the sketch is perfected they talk and talk and talk endlessly. ‘There was a woman, Celia. Most important woman.’ And when first sketch is ready Da Vinci starts the second one not to let this conversation stop. ‘This isn’t exactly about love.’ It is until the dusk when the sky turns a shade lighter and Riario gets up from his seat. ‘This will be it for today,’ he says while walking in Leonardo’s direction. He already stands behind Da Vinci looking above his shoulder when asks, ‘Can I see?’ And they are so close, breathing in the same rhythm looking at hundreds of sketches of Riario – his head, his hands, the body. All the parts of him but never the whole figure.

‘We are not finished yet. We have to meet again if you want to-’ he turns his head and meets that intensive gaze but so much softer and caring. Almost content.

‘Get some sleep, Leonardo,’ Riario says as he walks away. ‘We have some business to take care of tomorrow… I mean today.’

Eventually Leonardo gets to his chamber and falls asleep the moment his head meets soft fabric of the pillow.

 

Next time they meet in the gardens nearby. Leonardo with his sketches and Riario with soldiers following his every step – negotiations are known to be a dangerous practice. But the soldiers have no idea about what is their relationship, how Leonardo and Riario hate each other on the outside but each of them wants the best for the other one. And about the fact that the hate started vanishing the moment Leonardo gave his conditions and Riario agreed on them. But this meeting is more formal. More precise. More detailed. And they manage to think of a solution that will fit both sides. The payment is set as well as the dates, the tests, the production.

Leonardo, in the bottom of his heart, was counting on meeting the Pope. A bit foolishly, yes, a bit naïve also, but he wanted to see the man behind all of this. The one that will be responsible for destroying Florence and changing its citizens into mere ash below his feet.

But Leonardo is not to be trusted. Not even Riario trusts him and it saddens him to an unexpected extent.

So at the end Leonardo gets back to his workshop and hides there drawing parts of the machines, calculating the weight, the height, changing the smallest parts for his designs to be perfect.

The first thing he does is to recreate the guns that Florence already has. It's not like they will be dangerous owning the project, because they won't ever be able to recreate the right proportions of materials - only Leonardo knows them and the numbers are all faked in the notes for the sake of safety.

Time passes too fast, it's too hasty and Da Vinci thinks the time must be doing whatever it likes, because he finds himself still working, tips of his fingers black with charcoal and ink. It's dark outside, and he can hear timid knocking on the door.

'Come in,' he answers while getting up from the chair. His bones make weird cracking sounds with every movement, almost like they are about to break. The person that enters the room is a dark-skinned servant, carrying a tray in her long-fingered hands.

'Count Girolamo Riario asked to bring you this, Signore,' she says while putting the tray on a nearby table. 'Goodnight, Signore.' And she leaves immediately.

Leonardo is a bit confused, because her appearance is unexpected and so is her vanishment. But the tray she left is an interesting present - food, water, some wine and a small piece of paper with a text written in neat handwriting:

 

It seems like you've missed the dinner.

 

G.

PS: I will pay you a visit.

 

It's surprising, especially the 'visit' part and Leonardo can't grasp the meaning of this note. Or just the tone of it.

But he sits down and eats. The food is delicious - how can it be otherwise if he is in Rome?

And after a while, when he manages to finish the third set of sketches he hears that soft creak of the doors. Not even surprised he finds Riario there.

'Good evening, Leonardo,' Riario speaks when he notices that Da Vinci looks at him. 'I've got some news for you, even if they may be unpleasant.'

'Something more unpleasant than the pain in my neck or is this news worse?'

'Depends on how much your neck hurts,' says in that playful manner of his. 'Nico and Vanessa, as well as Zoroaster are locked in Medici's palace, but as our contact stated "The Medici want to keep them safe from Rome and the Pope."'

'You mean, we can't get in touch with them,' Leonardo frowns. 'That's bad.'

'The good news is that they are safe until someone finds out about our agreement,' Riario smiles mischievously. 'And no one will. The other news is that we've managed to get some things from your study in Florence. The most important ones - the Jew's book and this,' he hands out a notebook in leather. 'They were well hidden, but we have our ways...' And again this look like his eyes flirt with Leonardo carelessly.

'Thank you,' Leonardo takes the notebook in his hands with this feeling of touching something long forgotten. 'Too bad you couldn't contact Nico.'

'But they are safe, just like we agreed.'

'Girolamo...?' Da Vinci starts carefully but is unexpectedly interrupted by Riario's deep laugh. 'Why are you-?'

'Joy,' he states and quickly explains. 'It's the very first time I've heard you say my name. Never mind it. Shall we get back to the portrait?'

'Anytime you want,' he moves towards the easel. He prepared it earlier - much earlier in fact - and made sure that everything is perfect, waiting for a model. Of course, he knows how to draw almost anything he saw in his life but it doesn't mean he is not happy to have a live model - there is a soul in a person he paints and grasping that soul is the essence of portraying. Or this is just what he thinks.

And few hours pass. It is getting dark. 'Why are you always sneaking upon me silently?' Again they talk and topics seem endlessly multiplying and there is never silence. 'I like the surprise in your eyes. I like your eyes anyway.' The sketch is done even before the sunrise but they still talk when the sky turns orange-pink and the sun starts to rise. Then, at one moment when they decide to take a small break, Riario stands up, walks slowly towards Da Vinci and, just like previously, he is so close behind his back the air he breathes touches Leonardo's neck sending small shivers down the spine.

'Stunning. I can't really believe that you wanted to portrait me,' he speaks in that low, calm voice a bit hoarse but still melodic.

'I've wanted to do so from the first time we met. And I succeeded like I always do,’ a bit of boasting in his voice.

'Indeed,' Riario says when Leonardo turns his head to see the look that must be so perfectly calm or so entirely distant that he might simply drown in it. And suddenly Riario kisses him softly on the lips.

And when they part - Da Vinci simply shocked and staring in disbelief - one word escapes Leonardo's mouth, 'Girolamo...?'

'Yes...?' Riario asks almost smiling but not quite yet.

'Why would you do that?' still a bit dumbfounded Da Vinci mumbles with that sort of curiosity that people have while asking “What are you doing?” with one eyebrow raised.

'I just felt like doing so.'

'Yes...?' He pauses for a second, the thoughts swirling in his head. No time to consider pros and cons he just bursts, 'Then I feel like doing this' and he grabs the back of Riario's neck pulling him into another kiss. This time it's more violent but gentle, more passionate but precise. It lasts longer and they part breathing hard, Riario's hand on Da Vinci's back, the chin rested on the other's shoulder, lips almost brushing the cheek.

'Shouldn't you start to take of your shirt?' a whisper escapes Riario's mouth in that teasing manner, like he knows exactly what Leonardo wants to hear. His hands slide few centimetres lower and fingers start sliding under the shirt.

'Shouldn't we find a bed first...?' Da Vinci says and kisses Riario just behind the ear, getting a small hiss in return.

'A bed, Leonardo?' there is such intensity in few last syllables spoken right into his ear that Da Vinci starts getting dizzy. He murmurs just above the hearing level 'Yes. I want you in my bed. I want you laying on my bed almost naked. I want you to look me in the eyes and say that it is real. I want-' but he is cut off by Riario's lips pressing on his own. They part and Riario says, 'Bed. Now.' with such urgency and pulls Leonardo to the door. 'Guard,' he stops half-step, knocks twice, then once again and after thirty seconds spent lips to lips, with Riario's back pressed to the door and Leonardo's hands all over him they clumsily get out of the workshop. The guard is gone. Almost running with their fingers tangled together and lips meeting every few metres. Eventually they get to Da Vinci's room, still no guard in sight, and open the door where first beams of sun enter through the windows.

At last Leonardo gets even more than half-naked Riario on his bed. He gets so much more.

 

'Good morning, Girolamo,' He says when Riario shifts on the bed, his head nuzzled in Da Vinci's shoulder.

'Good morning,' mumbled answer comes more like a purr than words. 'Don't tell me we have some business to take care of. I am not going to listen,' he again mumbles.

'I just wanted to ask if you slept well...'

'I am still sleeping.' His eyes are closed and he buries his face deeper in Leonardo's neck.

'No... You're not..' Da Vinci shifts and pecks the other man on the lips. 'I've finished three designs, they lay on the desk in the workshop. Measurements and all... Ready for production, just like we agreed. So if you want them you may just take those pages when you'll be leaving...' Riario's hand grabs Leonardo's arm and the other one, lying on Da Vinci's waist, tightens the grip, not letting go. 'If you'll be leaving...'

'Mhm,' is the only answer he gets and Leonardo just decides to sleep a bit more. Besides, it's not like he can free himself from being tangled in such a way.

When he wakes up Riario is not there, not anywhere in sight, and it seems bizarre for Da Vinci, but he understands this disappearance somehow.

He dresses. Clothes in his wardrobe are as perfect as the rest of the room. They were chosen and prepared carefully, fabrics of the best kind, ideal colour composition. It strikes him that, yes, this is all for him and for him alone. To honour the guest, to honour the artist. Then there is soft knock on the door.

'Come in,' he says putting on fresh shirt.

The black servant walks into the room.

'The breakfast awaits, Signore,' she almost bows. 'If you could follow me to the dining room that would be kind of you.'

At all times she looks to the ground not daring to even glance at Leonardo.

'One minute, please.' And Leonardo finishes dressing up surprised that he will be served breakfast in the dining room not in his own chamber nor in the workshop.

And then they walk, the servant leading Da Vinci downstairs. It's the first time Leonardo can actually see for himself how this place looks like, how it is constructed, how corridors differ. It is truly a labyrinth, but not the one in which he could be lost. His curiosity gets tickled and Leonardo just wants to spend hours exploring it.

'What is your name?' he suddenly asks the servant.

'Zita, Signore,' she answers and continues walking without another word.

'Who told you to bring me downstairs?'

'Count Girolamo Riario, Signore.' And they do not exchange any more words. Leonardo, however, wants to ask where Girolamo is. Where can he see him, or at least when can he meet him. But he doesn't ask. There will be gossips after last night - guards are not as stupid as they appear - so he doesn't need to give them reasons to talk about it more.

The dining room have only one window but it is so bright as if there were at least three. In the middle there is a table full of food, bottles of wine standing beside different plates filled with many kinds of fruits and meat (which of course he won't eat but the table looks extravagant).

He seats and starts eating in silence. Riario is nowhere in sight.

When he gets back to his workshop all the papers and designs are gone and, as Leonardo supposes, they are already quite useful for production of a prototype. He will have to go and check by himself how the production goes - only he can know if everything had been done in order and he is the only one to check the properties of the machine. Other people are not capable of doing it.

And being back in the study he just sits down and draws some more. It's not like he has something else to do anyway. He stays up throughout half of the night - drawing and thinking if he will come back. But eventually Da Vinci simply stops sketching, because it's getting ridiculous and he is unable to focus resulting in additional limbs or additional fingers and muscles in wrong places on all of his sketches. So he ends up just waiting, but this time Riario doesn't come.

This one night Leonardo falls asleep when stars are still bright and not like he used to do for the couple of days. It's pleasant but he prefers to wake up with Girolamo by his side, that's what he thinks.

 

What saddens him and scares him at the same time is that Riario doesn't show up for next few days during which Da Vinci wonders if he will ever see him again at all. He feels guilty and wanders on all the floors, knocks on the doors of Girolamo's room twice a day - not more frequently, that would make him seem desperate. He even tries talking with the servant, but she is timid and not really talkative. It wouldn't bother him that much if she would only tell him where Riario is, but she only gives him messages from the Count instead of the information he wants. The messages are simple: 'We started the production of the weaponry.', 'The prototype is almost finished.' and always about the work - nothing personal - which worries him even more, making him feel much more guiltier.

 

So he continues drawing - everyday from late afternoon up to midnight. He always waits for Riario to show up but doesn't believe in that anymore. He wants to finish the portrait. He wants to see him. He wants this overwhelming presence in the workshop and soft kiss on the lips.

Because one cannot do things like that. One cannot leave the other after a morning like that. Not after laying naked in bed, tangled together, buried into each other. Not after breathing together in steady rhythm with eyes half closed, pretending to sleep while looking at one other and tracing with fingers the veins under the soft skin.

And however poetic this may sound that is exactly what Leonardo thinks. And, to tell the truth, he feels so lonely without having him around.

 

Yet, one day something changes and after several hours spent in the study he feels soft kiss on the back of his neck followed by firm but delicate hands on his shoulders.

'Did I fell asleep...?' Leonardo asks out loud and in answer another kiss is placed on his neck.

'I don't think so...' Riario's hands slide lower while lips smooch just behind the ear.

'You left me,' Da Vinci states bluntly refusing to open his eyes. 'Thought you won't come back.'

'I had to think,' Riario says between kisses. Leonardo shifts his head slightly to the left so his neck is exposed and pulsing of blood gets faster as Riario adds, 'And talk.'

'With whom...?' Da Vinci is slightly surprised and there is visible stiffness in his figure. They don't want to be discovered - it's Rome, after all, not Florence.

'The Lord,' is the answer and Leonardo smirks inaudibly as Riario says it just after biting him near the collarbone. The hypocrisy strikes him.

'What did he say?' Just slightly ironic tone in his voice.

'That he is forgiving and loving Father,' he just stands so close to Leonardo. ‘Pretty self-explanatory, don’t you think?’ and kisses him for a few long seconds that are much too short for Da Vinci to enjoy.

They part, ‘Why are you here?’  Da Vinci asks because there must be a reason for such visit so late at night and he hopes he is right with the suspicions.

‘I’m here only for a minute. Just wanted to tell you that tomorrow, at noon we have to meet and test the prototype. It’s ready,’ he smiles when Leonardo’s hands slide down his hips.

‘Always talking about the business… And such a tease,’ he smirks. ‘Don’t you want to stay a bit longer tonight?’

‘I would love to-’ he stops half-sentence when Leonardo’s hands travel lower and to the back, rubbing Riario’s skin through the fabric.

‘Maybe you’ll stay the night?’ says quietly Da Vinci, forehead to forehead, lips parted. And seconds after, Riario kisses him goodnight and exits the room with 'Don't forget about our appointment' on his lips.

 

They meet at noon the next day. Or rather five minutes past the hour. Leonardo thinks it is classy to be late and have a great entrance. The prototype is ready, waiting for Da Vinci to check how useful will it be for Rome.

The answer is of course "Very useful", but all the soldiers cautiously back up for tests - Leonardo is known to be a madman and he doesn't necessary have to be their ally. They are still not sure about his intentions.

But it all goes smoothly. The gunfire - remarkable. Effects - deadly. The weapons designed for Florence are nothing compared to this machine. It doesn't change the fact that they produced few of Florence's guns just in case something goes wrong.

'Unbelievable, Leonardo,' Riario says as he approaches Da Vinci.

'Thank you, Girolamo,' he smiles. 'Told you I am not the enemy, but an artist on your service.'

'Yes, I can see it,' he looks at the machinery placed nearby and nods with the expression of sad contentment.

'What's the matter...?' Leonardo is intrigued but worried as well. He tries to catch Riario's gaze but is unable to do so when the other man omits his eyes. 'Is something wrong?'

'Actually no.' Riario draws the sword and touches Da Vinci's chest with its blade. 'You're just no longer useful.'

Leonardo stares blankly and blinks few times. 'What...?!' Is the only word he can force out of his mouth. His eyes are now the mixture of deep concern and utter shock.

'I would say "Sorry for dragging you into that" except I am not really sorry,' he smiles with the eyes of an innocent child and continues undisturbed by Leonardo's dumbfounded expression, 'You should note that I am just a very good actor. It wasn't real.'

Leonardo is unable to move. Maybe he would have a chance to get out of this. Maybe he could get out of it alive but it doesn't make sense. He has nowhere to go. He is alone. Alone is what he has.

'Goodbye, Leonardo,' he looks like he is about to burst out with laughter but he tries really hard to stop himself. 'God will forgive me my sins.'

And he pushes hard so the sword enters between two ribs right to the heart, and even deeper, probably damaging the lung as well.

'But I don't think He will forgive you yours,' Riario smiles as Leonardo's eyes get wide and teary and filled with pain.

Last thing that crosses his mind is that it really have been worth it. He just regrets not solving the jigsaw earlier.

And then his body fells to the ground motionlessly.

**Author's Note:**

> I was trying to make the whole work historically accurate but if there are any mistakes let me know. I will be grateful. The same goes for all the things I haven't got right in Italian... I am sooo sorry for all the mistakes.  
> Constructive criticism appreciated ^w^


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